Finding Meaning

What does it mean to be a therapist, a Christian and a Feminist?
What does it mean to be a white woman, with all of the above identities, working in a predominantly non-white environment in the midst of a racially divided country?

As best as I can tell, it means life is messy as hell.

It means wading through the tangles, the misfires and mistakes, the muddy condition of the human heart and soul.

I know I am not the only one attempting to weave this life into meaningful narrative.

Less than 100 years ago women won the right to vote.
Less than 50 years ago people of color were fighting for the same right.
Less than 15 years ago I had dismissed the Christian Church only to find a transformed identity and purpose in a new city’s religious community.
Less than 10 years ago I began my professional journey as a mental health clinician with young women and men of color.
2 years ago I married the man of my dreams, a first-generation Latin American, and we are now inviting the prospect of raising multi-racial children.

I know all of these things are deeply connected and I am trying to work out what that means for my life.

So far, here is what I have determined:

• My personal experience informs my professional, and vice versa, and the two require prolific amounts of emotional processing
• My multiple identities, though seemingly opposite at first glance, are far more compatible than most people are willing to see (including myself)
• All of these necessitate a purposeful living-out and a sharing with others

Here is some of what I have come to believe:

• What is required of me as Christian and a Feminist are intertwined
• Jesus was not who most Christians think He was (And I believe He is who He said He is)
• I am called to help in the healing and transformation of others; sometimes as their therapist, sometimes as their friend, sometimes as a stranger
• Everything is personal and everything is social/political and everything is spiritual. While I can sometimes separate them out, they are inevitably connected.
• We belong to each other. Our stories and our voices are important.

So here goes my attempt at working all this out, unabashedly and awkwardly right in front of anyone who dares to look.

(Yup, still terrified).