Yes, We’re All Racist

“I’m not racist but ….”

“I’m not racist I …”

Everything we say after this statement confirms that the first half of our sentence is, in fact, true. We do not get to be a White American and claim we aren’t racist. We especially don’t get to be a Christian and claim this.

I am racist. And I absolutely hate that I just typed that out loud. It disgusts me. It makes me feel nauseous and defensive. I want to erase this post right now and pretend I never started it.

Most people who know me would disagree – “No, she works with youth of color,” and “No way, she’s in an interracial marriage” and “She’s about to have a multiracial child. That can’t possibly be true.”

But it IS true. I am a white American. My wealth, my advantages, my identity was built on the backs of black people – literally. My ancestors owned slaves. My country’s founding fathers owned slaves. My country’s founding fathers, after fleeing persecution in their native country, came to this country and continued to persecute. We killed and dis-empowered the indigenous people (Native Americans) who are, incidentally, non white. We brought slavery to our homes. Southern white landowners grew wealthy off the the backs of slaves to the point that when slavery was abolished, many lost their fortunes and enacted social revenge against people of color. We brought slavery to our government. The White House was literally built by slaves.

If the very stones of the buildings that house our country’s leaders bear the blood and the sweat of the oppressed people of color that came before, what would make us think our country’s laws and institutions don’t also hold such blood and sweat? What would make us think that we aren’t socialized to these so-called norms?

As a child I learned to cross to the other side of the street when a person of color was walking towards me – especially a man. I learned that the poorer parts of the town were recognizable by certain markers – graffiti, trash, brick buildings, no landscaping – and that these markers reflected the worth of the people living there. As a young person I was told never to use the “n word” while also never discussing racial identity. I literally grew up without language to describe race other than the color of a person’s skin. I learned to accept that the face of a wanted man on the news at night was most likely black and that the face of incarceration was a person of color. I learned that black people play sports because they are naturally more aggressive and strong. I watched how white adults in my community over-compensated to relate to the one or two people of color in a suburban community. I watched how their voices changed, how their body language adjusted, how their vocabulary was altered. And this taught me people of color were separate from me, different somehow. This is how I internalized racism.

I react to people of color based on this socialization. Sometimes I react physically and verbally, sometimes I react in how I think rather than how I respond. Either way, I have a reaction based on what I learned. Unlearning takes far more time and pain than I would like to admit.

We, as white people, can stand against racist acts and ideologies (individual prejudice) but we must concurrently admit that we benefit from the social and institutional systems (mass incarceration, education disparities, wages gap, etc) that ensure a unequal distribution of worth and wealth (institutional racism). When we refuse to admit this, we continue to participate in racism.

For my Christian friends, this is how I understand the biblical and Christian interpretation and response to be (and I invite you to help me as I discern this – I am imperfect and only just beginning):
The Bible states that the sins of the father rest on the son even to the third and the fourth generation. God declared this – that He holds us responsible – to Moses in the Old Testament. If I believe this to be true, it means that the weight of my ancestor’s choices does, indeed, fall on me. I could take this as terrible news and crumble under the influence of it.

Or, I can also remember that God declared through his prophets there would come a Messiah to make all things new. This Messiah has the spiritual authority and power to dismantle what has come before and break the chains off my individual spirit and the spirit of social institutions.

Jesus is the fulfillment of this prophecy and through His sacrifice, we can confess and repent not only of the sins of our fathers but our own and find grace, mercy, redemption and transformation.

This is why, as hard and as nauseating, as exhausting and painful as it is, I believe I am required as a follow of Christ to recognize, denounce, and live in such a way that rejects the sinful injustice of racism both on the individual and the systemic level. This is why I am both racist and being redeemed. This is why you are too.

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
    And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
    and to walk humbly with your God.

-Micah 6:8